What it Takes to Go Tiny–Mindset of a Tiny Houser

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My husband and I have been living tiny for almost four years now! We love it and we want to share our knowledge and experiences with others. One taunting question people often wonder, is, “What does it take to go tiny?”

What do you need to go tiny? In order to go tiny you will need to downsize, buy or build a tiny home, and of course plan where to live. But more than that is the mindset. Here are the reasons why living tiny is so different.

People have often told me, “I could never go tiny, I like to do too many things and I own too many things.” Living tiny is far from giving up your hobbies or passions. It’s actually the opposite.

Living tiny is about giving up all the junk so you can enjoy your passions. We don’t accumulate or keep unnecessary items so we have plenty of room for what we love.

The Mindset

There are some very unclear representations of people who own tiny homes, because they are not always well understood. People often think it is crazy that we live tiny. But to be completely honest, we have always lived like this, just in a bigger space.

At least once a year my husband and I go through all our stuff and throw out or donate anything that is broken or has been unused too long. We did this before we went tiny.

Whenever I need a new purse or coat, I look for exactly what I want and then I keep it until it is useless. I have done this my whole life. Living tiny has only made it easier for us to travel, enjoy the things we love doing, and spend more time together.

We have never been “stuff” people. We don’t buy or keep a lot of extra things. But the things we do own, bring us joy. I do not have 15 pairs of shoes. So every day I get to wear my favorite shoes. There is only one belt in my closet, and it’s my favorite.

The things we do own have so much more meaning. Owning multiples of an item, devalues that item in your mind. It is now less interesting because you have multiple options. Whenever I buy something I get excited about it. I find all of the exact features I want in it and I love it. I take care of it, I enjoy using it.

Everyday I wear my favorite clothes, cook with my favorite pan, use my favorite lotion, and never even think about wanting multiple options.

Mental Stress is Created by Having More Options

The psychology is actually in our favor. Little do you know, but your mind actually plays tricks on you daily, leading to more stress. Simply changing your mindset can change your life.

Let’s try an experiment to show you how it works.

You need to buy a new t-shirt and have the option to go to two different stores. One store has three options, white, black, and grey. The other bigger store has lots of options. Which one do you chose?

Most people will chose the one with lots of options.

You walk into this store. Now you can buy a shirt that is dark red, bright red, navy blue, bright blue, dark purple, black, tan, white, stripped black and white, grey, or dark green.

Which one do you choose?

Are you happy with your choice?

Chances are that you are not. Psychologists call this the “paradox of choice”.

Psychologist Daylian Cain, as shown in Brain Games, explains the reasoning behind it. Did you find it easy to chose the store with more options? Typically we think having more options will be a good thing, however it is actually not.

After you made your decision, did you then find it hard to make a selection?

This happens because we naturally avoid pain as much as we seek pleasure. In this instance you are avoiding the pain of regret. What if you chose the dark purple shirt and then missed out on the dark green shirt and regretted your choice?

You actually would have been happier with the smaller store and less options to chose from. It puts less mental stress on your brain in your decision making, and will save you time. I will also share a secret with you. It doesn’t matter which shirt you choose. But we still stress over these things.

This is why I truly believe that living tiny is more of a mindset than anything else. When I was faced with this problem, I intuitively thought, “I already have a black shirt, and I don’t like white. I will chose the big store because my favorite color is blue and right now I don’t have a blue shirt.” In my mind, I then walk into the bigger store. Immediately I see my favorite color and I am happy.

My mind never took me through the paradox of choice, I never felt any regret. Whenever I want something, I know exactly what I want. Can you imagine how much less stress you could feel if you just knew what you wanted?

You don’t need to spend time deciding what to order on a menu, which toothpaste to buy, which spatula to use, if you want to buy that new watch, and so on.

Almost everything in my house I have already chosen. I own one frying pan, one face wash, one pair of tennis shoes, one gym bag, one pillow, and one of almost everything else I have.

I never take the time to decide what to use. I never feel any subtle stresses about choosing the wrong item. And I never spend any time on making that decision.

Given my daily life, this mindset has spilled over into other areas of my life. I know exactly what I like and I don’t have to agonize over decision making. Plus I rarely decide to buy something, I almost never walk into outlet stores and I am not faced with choices like this very often.

Many of the things I am talking about are subconscious. You may not even realize the things you do on a regular basis. Take the time over the next week to pay attention to your choices and see if there is any subtle stresses that come along with them.

Eliminating Waste

Another important aspect of tiny living is eliminating waste. Again I feel that this is a mindset. When you want less waste in your life your mindset switches to saving. Saving space, saving time, and saving money. This is a mental shift. I don’t have to pine over decisions. I already know what I have and what I want.

Waste comes in so many forms that it can be hard to see at times. But when you change your mindset towards one area, you start to see it in all areas. Living in a tiny house means that you are a lot less likely to buy something you don’t actually need, because you have nowhere to put it.

You then start to see waste when you are spending money on something that doesn’t impact your life. You will then start to see waste when you are spending time on something that also doesn’t impact your life. And it grows from there.

When you focus on the parts of life that truly matter, the rest becomes less important. A big part of living tiny is’t figuring out what to get rid of, it’s focusing on what you want, and the rest falls by the side.

Going tiny is not something that can be forced on anyone very well. It takes the right mindset to appreciate a minimalist life. And this mindset can be developed even without living in a tiny house.

One of the key components of living tiny is being content with what you have. And I will let you in on another secret, it doesn’t matter what you have. You and I have met people with tons of stuff, who are still searching for something. And we have likely met people with almost nothing that are perfectly happy.

It doesn’t matter what you actually have, it matters how you feel about it. Being content with what you have will bring more meaning into your life than any physical item can.

The majority of people live at their max. If you make more money, you will spend more money, if you have more space, you will use more space and so on. It takes a very deliberate concision effort to use only what you need and to spend only want you need.

About 5 years ago, my husband and I had had a normal fridge, and it was full. Then we went tiny and bought a smaller fridge, and it was full. Now we have a mini-fridge, and guess what? Yep, it is full. But we still have plenty of food! Sometimes too much. And to be completely honest, I have no clue what we used to have in our full size fridge that I don’t have now.

It doesn’t matter how big our fridge is, we will fill it. When was the last time you went through your fridge? Do you need everything in it? Do you use everything in it? How much has gone bad? We don’t even realize the waste around us.

Using a concision effort to only buy what you will need or be able to eat before it goes bad, takes skill. But it is a whole lot easier when you have a smaller fridge. I don’t even think about buying more than I need now, instead we worry more about trying to use everything up!

This scenario can be applied to all areas of life, your house, your income, your time, and your mental state of mind. Of course your income can be different. But for the most people, when they make more what do they do? Spend more. And usually it does not add to their life in any significant way.

Five years ago we lived in an 800 sq ft apartment. Then we moved into 320 sq ft, then 260 sq ft, and now 112 sq ft. And I have a really hard time remembering what we had in those other houses that I don’t have now. Going tiny doesn’t mean having less stuff, it means having the things you actually use.

The best mindset you can have is to make what matters matter. Brendon Burchard in his book, High Performance Habits, says, “The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.” This may seem all to obvious but the truth is we rarely do it.

What you want to do in life? Do it. Who do you want to be? Be it. How do you want to feel? Feel it. These ideas are so simple yet we tend to forget them. We get so caught up deciding, planning, and discussing that we don’t get anything done.

Living tiny changes your whole mindset. You don’t have physical clutter so you tend to have much less mental clutter. If you could clean your house in 1/3 of the time it takes you now, what would you do with the rest of that time? Start a blog? Start a planner? Organize your house? I did all of those things with the extra time I now have.

Everyday I save time by having less to sort through, having less decisions, taking less time to walk to the next part of my house, and so many other ways. This may sound trivial, let’s say each of those things only takes 1-2 minutes and each of those things only happens 3 times a day. But add up all those minutes, hours, and now days. Over the course of ONE year I will have saved 3 days and 8 hours. And that is honestly being conservative.

People can understand the concept of saving money, another big part of downsizing. But what about time? You can get money back, but you cannot get back your time. What is your time worth? Even saving a few minutes here and there should be seen as a big win.

Today I paid a small shop $15 to patch my tire, in about 15 minutes. Now I could have gone to Walmart, waited for 2 hours, and paid only $5. But $10 is not worth an hour and 45 minutes of my time. Instead I got to work on dinner, write this post, and read my new book, all while spending time with my dogs.

The tiny living mindset is not about having nothing, saving everything, and finding great deals. It is about eliminating the waste in your life, no matter what form it comes in.

Of course for many people it is about saving money. You have less space to heat, so a smaller electricity bill, you have smaller house, so less property tax, you have less space, so less money on items to fill it up. But living tiny is more about what you will now do with that money.

We can save more money, we can travel to more places, we can do more activities, we can build our business, and anything else that we decide adds meaning to our life. We focus on the main thing.

How to Downsize

Let’s get down to the nitty gritty. Downsizing is a big fear for many people. In order to go tiny you will need to downsize. Why are we so afraid of this? It goes back to my previous point on the paradox of choice. We are afraid that we will regret getting rid of something that we might have otherwise wanted.

I will suggest a different approach. Keep the main thing the main thing. Instead of getting upset about what you will lose, get excited about what you will keep. Think about your life in practical terms. You know that shirt you love? Now you get to wear it more often. You know your favorite spatula? Now you get to use it every time!

Appreciate the things you love, and get ride of the things that get in it’s way. In the end, it doesn’t actually matter what you own, it matters that you are happy. There are likely things now that you seldom use, but would not even miss if they was gone.

Imagine your future self living your dream life. What are you doing? What do you need to do that? Start with those things. Focus on what you want, on what makes you happy and then you can get rid of the rest.

When you really sit down and think about what you own, you may realize that you barley even know what you actually own. This is because it is meaningless. However, it might still be useful. Obviously you cannot throw away everything.

If you want a slow start, then package up a good section of things that you don’t use often, or at all. After a few months, if you didn’t need them or didn’t even remember them. Than get rid of it.

Be careful with seasonal items. My husband and I go through our stuff regularly but items that can be used seasonally, we wait a full year before getting rid of them.

Some basic for downsizing:

• Get rid of any duplicates (crockpots, black flip flops, etc.)
• Get rid of one purpose times you can do without (rice maker, drying rack, etc.)
• Old or out dated items
• Clothes/shoes you don’t wear

When you are downsizing, instead of thinking, “Can I live without this?”, think to yourself, “Does this add value to my life?” You do not need to feel like you are taking away from your life, instead think about how you will be adding to your life. Focus on what make your house a home, and the rest you won’t need.

Feeling overwhelmed? That is completely normal. We have been living tiny for years and I am still amazed at the stuff that we accumulate even when we actively declutter.

Going tiny is a mindset shift. Focus on the good and the great and eliminate the waste.

Many people have told me that they could never go tiny because they have too many hobbies. Guess what? So do we! We have snowboards, a bike, school supplies, lots of tools my husband runs a business with, and not to forget our five dogs.

Don’t get rid of what makes you you. Get rid of what gets in the way of that.

Why Go Tiny?

So in the end what is it all for? Why even bother? I am sure you have heard the basics, to save money, a smaller carbon footprint, to travel more, and so on and so on. All of those things can be great. But I have a different point of view.

In my opinion, going tiny is so you can build a better life for yourself. You can do that through money, or travel, or anything else. But in the end you should be happy with your life.

Almost every tiny houser I have ever met is excited about life. Isn’t that what it’s really about? You can save money other ways, you can travel or have a smaller carbon footprint other ways too, so why go tiny?

Placing yourself in a smaller space forces you to change your whole mindset. You will start to see the mindset change I have been talking about. It is something that can change every part of your life.

The people I have seen who went tiny have more life and energy, and follow their passions more often. They take the opportunities they want, they spend time with the people that matter to them, and they see the world a little differently.

Living tiny changes your outlook. I do not think going tiny is for everyone, however I do think being content, having peace of mind, and loving life is for everyone. Going tiny just makes it easier.

Conclusions

To summarize, going tiny is about building up the things you love and getting rid of what gets in the way. This mindset comes from making a conscious effort to reduce the waste in your life. Also, having less items leads to less choices, which actually makes you happier, and helps in eliminating waste. When you start to do these things in one area of your life, like your physical space, it tends to seep over into every area of your life, like time, money, and mentality.

Make the most important parts of your life the focal point, and get rid of everything else in the way.